Welcome To WrestleMan…..Oh Wait No, Henlow Parish Hall

Added by Joel Yentis

7th April 2019 I watched some wrestling

Hey guys, I watched wrestling on the 7th April 2019. Did you?Also this has taken me ages to complete because, you know – life.

Well, I guess most people reading this did watch something around the 7th April. You know, the evil empire were busy creating moments over the course of 20 hours. I did not watch this marathon. Instead I went to a local parish hall to watch a bunch of trainees’ wrestle.

I spent £13 all in all using my promo code JR1. JR1 is that like Jim Ross 1? Nope. It is Jethro Roose 1. You know, the lucha landlord. The Falstaff of professional wrestling. The man who is applying his recently learnt skills, holds and manoeuvres to a small but perfectly formed audience.

The “arena” was Henlow Parish Hall, the company Square One – a training promotion associated with Ultimate British Wrestling (UBW). There were some familiar names from the various UBW shows I have been to over the last year plus. There was the gorgeous Brad Tannen. I call him Bradley. His hair is majestic, his smile gorgeous and his ability to be nice to his opponent? Well, that is non-existent. He took on Frances Drake who has a character, an entrance and entrance music down (Be your own pet – Adventurers). It wasn’t a great match, it wasn’t meant to be – it was a fun inter gender match with hope spots for Frances and heel heat for Bradley. It was fun. I think people get a little hung up on work rate inprofessional wrestling. What are the star ratings? Guys, this match was just fun. For me it’s what it should all be about.

All that being said, the first match was set to be a “barn burner” which would be most welcomed as this barn/hall was incredibly cold. The lucha landlord Jethro Roose took on Tommy Kyle who I believe is a pilot. He dressed like a pilot. He had aviators and a pilots hat so he must be a wrestling pilot right? He came out to come fly with me by ol’ blue eyes and that was a lot of fun. It looked like the leader of the “Kyle High” Club is most certainly comfortable with this role and is definitely finding his way. The match was a lot of fun; you can hear some wrestling banter from the grapplers. Jethro doing a rope walk was quite the high spot. I mean, I say high spot – it was the 1st rope. The match was fun, simple and a true indicator that you can find plenty of enjoyment in an art form even when it is stripped back.

Kyle won the match fair and square. It still made Jethro look strong, Kyle looked strong and this shows that this is a competition that values a result. Kyle, whilst celebrating his hard fought victory was attacked by Sanctus and Arcane, doing enough damage to take Tommy Kyle out of the main event – a rumble match.

We saw a man crawl out from under the ring, with a Poundland bag, sausage rolls, broken sunglasses and easily my favourite wrestling character ever. Jimbo was his name and Hobo Jimbo is his game…. that I have given him. He was tremendous throughout the afternoon, including the rumble. A singles match saw Hobo Jim take on a former champ in Percy Trainer. Percy took most of the match but unfortunately was towelled and losing the match to Hobo Jim.

The massive mountain of a man Hugo Bloom took on the ref – El Reffico. It was a lot of fun. The ref really put on a good show and Hugo Bloom was a wonderful foil. I have watched a lot of Hugo over the year or so and this is the most comfortable I have seen him. He looks really decent and hopefully can get some momentum behind him. He won.

A rumble finished off the show and it was a lot of fun, a lot of banter, some terrible bumps – I AM LOOKING AT YOU JETHRO and some really funny stories. Such a story was the camera lady being an entrant and getting pounced on by everyone in the ring. She showed great strength and powered out of the bundle. One of my favourite spots.

The show was a fun afternoon, seeing some wrestlers applying their craft at a reasonable price. You don’t always have to spend £80 for a ringside seat – sometimes you can spend a couple of quid and it is still a lot of fun.