ATTACK Pro Wrestling ‘It Was Acceptable In The 80’s (17/01/16) Review

Added by Liam Byrne

In an effort to broaden my UK Indy wrestling beyond Rev-Pro, PROGRESS and NGW, I decided to check out Attack Pro Wrestling, a promotion running out of Wales. With a family friendly programme that isn’t afraid to play it for laughs, I was looking forward to checking them out. I fired up the good ‘ol Vimeo, paid my £5.99 and was transported back to the 80s (…the theme of the show).

Love Making Demon/Danny Jones/Nixon vs. Anti-Fun Police/RoboCop

I can only imagine what I am in for with a collection of teams such as this. Between the face team paying homage to Grease, and the heel team having a man wearing cardboard and tinfoil to pretend to be Robocop, the bar is set for the rest of the night’s activities. Nixon is on fire initially, nailing a tentative Ryan Smile (not wanting to hit a girl, naturally) with several forearms and a headscissors after Smile cartwheels out of her first attempt. When Robocop gets his first tag in, the ref has to help him into the ring, and the mask falls off twice in the first minute. An attack by the Love Making Demon seems to slow Robocop down, and as ‘You’re The One That I Want’ hits the PA system, LMD and Robocop enjoy a bit of a dance. Unfortunately for the Demon, he gets a tinfoil helmet shot to the face shortly afterwards.

LMD does manage to tag out after a flying butt attack on Smile, but this just means that Jones gets a bit of a beating – a triple dropkick, an Anti-Fun double suplex, tin foil assisted punches by Smile and a Robocop suplex end up in a two count. Nixon becomes the hot tag after a Jones enziguri, and she rocks Robocop by using a part of him (a foam tube) to make her forearms more brutal. She lands a shining wizard on Dunne and a titlawhirl DDT on Smile, sends Robocop to the outside with a lowbridge and lands stereo dives with Jones. The ref at this point even threatens to dive, only to be stopped by LMD, who hits his own (admittedly weak) back dive.

Robocop is a pretty decent impact wrestler and he plants Jones with a back suplex into a facebuster before catching Nixon off of a crossbody and throwing her away with authority. However, he takes a superkick and a jumping DDT.Nixon then eats a kick and a superkick from Smile, and Smile and LMD even manage to cover up a missed spot with good humour and have LMD hit a springboard ace crusher, only for Smile to then land a spear. Dunne hits Smile with an enziguriwhich leads to a Nixon Canadian Destroyer-esque move for the three count. A really fun opener, if a little sloppy in place. Nixon in particular impressed me.

Sebastian Radclaw vs. YxB Pete Dunne

Having seen Dunne recently, he doesn’t quite fit the fun-loving aspect of the promotion – Sebastien Radclaw, on the other hand, very much does. A hand puppet/cuddly toy in hand, he tells stories before the match about Dunne being nice to him in the past (especially when Uncle Egbert died), only to earn a big slap when Radclaw takes a pop about the relative success of Mark Andrews compared to Dunne. Dunne is vicious, sending Radclaw to the floor and pitching him into the chairs twice, ony for Radclaw to fight back with a dropkick and a flipping senton that took out a bunch more chairs. They continue to brawl at ringside, Dunne using an X-Plex onto the ring apron and landing a superkick that sends Radclaw back of the head first onto a chair!

The stairs are then put to use with a fireman’s carry used to dump Radclaw’s face into the side. Dunne even finds a chance to send Radclaw out of the fire exit with an Irish whip into the door. The men finally get into the ring and Dunne hits a Tiger suplex for a two count. Radclaw begins a fight back with a back elbow, a boot and a second rope dropkick, before he reverses an Irish whip to send Dunne into the stairs. Horror of all horrors, Radclaw blasts Dunne with the cuddly toy off of the top turnbuckle! A running senton off of the apron takes out Dunne and they continue to brawl at ringside, only for the cuddly toy to be thrown up onto a ridge and out of reach. Radclaw climbs to regain it, landing a cannonball flip onto Dunne for good measure!

Though he has the momentum going his way, Radclaw eats a knee to the face off of a moonsault attempt, leaving him vulnerable to a tombstone piledriver and a pumphandlereverse DDT for the three count. Dunne even punts the cuddly toy into the crowd for good measure. A solid match, with a nice meshing of personalities between the two men.

‘Flash’ Morgan Webster vs. Martin Kirby vs. Robbie X vs. ‘Ginger Jesus’ Mike Bird

The 80s theme continues in the next match as Kirby enters as Skeletor, X is Michalangelo, Bird is Rambo and Webster comes out as Luke Skywalker, with lightsaber in hand. This is another match where the laughs are as important as the wrestling, with Kirby crying after X stands on his hands, only to then kick a sympathetic X and let out a maniacal laugh before eating a dropkick to the face. When Bird knocks over X, he can’t get back up, but he can’t be pinned because his ‘shell’ means his shoulders are off of the mat. Finally, he is able to get up with use of the ropes. Webster is the first man to really fly as he takes out Bird and Kirby with a moonsault, leaving the way clear for a Nunchuks vs Lightsaber duel! Webster uses force powers and force pushes X, only for ‘Rambo’ to enter the ring and use his gun in slow motion! He runs out of bullets, so chooses to ‘break’ Kirby’s kneck. When the match returns to full speed, Kirby enziguris X.

There are some nice exchanges when all four men are in the ring, as blocks and reversals lead to different men attacking each other against their wills. Kirby then hits a sunset flip off of the top rope onto Bird who suplexes X in the process, whilst Webster gets a two count with his fireman’s carry neckbreaker over the knee. Bird then drops Webster onto his knees from a press slam position and nails a release German, yet X gets a close two count by landing on Bird with a running shooting star! A stacked superplex has all men down before Bird lands badly on a reverse rana after attempting another gutbuster.

Webster hits the X Effect and a running shooting star for a two count, before a powerbomb by Kirby on X also gets a two count. With Webster hitting Kirby with Angel’s Wings and a 450 splash, it seems like he has the match won, but Bird nails him with a pilot’s helmet and steals the win. A very fun and enjoyable match from four guys who know how to have fun in the ring.

ATTACK! Pro Tag Team Titles: Brothers of Construction [c] vs. Wonderland of Wrestle vs. #CCK (Brookes/Lykos)

Ok, so the Hunter Brothers doing a ‘Transformers who do DIY’ style gimmick is money, whilst the Wonderland of Wrestle have a good Zubaz game. Showing who are the heels here, Chris Brookes kicks the ‘chassis’ (..more cardboard) of one of the Brothers and gets a drill waved in his face for good measure. I won’t lie to you, but without commentary, I can’t tell which Hunter Brother is which, so they became Orange and Yellow for the next fifteen minutes…

Elephant Mask and Super Santos Sr. initially control Lykos, EM hitting a tiltawhirl backbreaker and SSS dropping some decent looking arm drags, before tagging in the Hunter Brothers who land a double slingshot suplex. The face teams basically work together in the early going, with a lot of quick tags just so that each new man could wrench on the targeted arm of Lykos. Lykos eventually leaves the ringside, and Brookes gets in, suggesting this might be Lucha rules. Things continue to go badly for the heel team though as EM hits a standing moonsault and the Wonderland of Wrestle land a Hart Attack. The Brothers of Construction also double team Brookes, landing an assisted knee into the corner, followed by a cannonball senton which leads to a giant swing with a dropkick to the head.

Hunter Brother Yellow is eventually pushed back into the corner for the heels to work over, with the ref distracted long enough for him to get hit with a metal tray. Brookes is vicious, landing a kneedrop and biting at the forehead, whilst Lykoshas to resort to a turnbuckle smash to keep HBY under control. Eventually, Lykos misses a top rope kneedrop and Yellow makes a tag to Orange – the hot tag leads to multiple clotheslines on both Brookes and Lykos, with Lykos then caught with a springboard back elbow and a neckbreaker. A Brookes wheel kick almost has the heels back in control, but HBO manages to tag out to EM, leading to two big dives off of the top rope. The WoW uses punch combos to keep CCK under control, before a Gory special is turned into a double team facebuster.

With the referee once again distracted, the Brothers of Construction and the WoW hit stereo whassup headbutts, the BoC wearing hard hats for good measure. The face teams then go to work on each other with many a superkick, eventually leading to a WoW doomsday device followed up by a lariat. Double superkicks knock down Brookes and send Lykos off of the apron and the WoW subsequently land two pretty dodgy looking dives to the outside. Lykos gets nailed with a pumphandle style powerbomb, but the BoC stop SSS from doing anything to follow-up – they eventually land a super-rana and a big splash off of the top rope for a three count and the first elimination (when watching, I didn’t realise it was elimination). The heels attack after the pinfall, but Brookes wipes out Lykos with the metal tray. Unfortunately for the champions, this leaves the ref out of position and Brookes spits ink in the eyes of HBY, rolling him up for the three count and the title! Without wanting to sound repetitive , a really fun match, though with some dodgier spots than the earlier matches.

‘White Lightning’ Mark Andrews vs. Travis Banks

We can always trust Mark Andrews to commit to a bit of a laugh, and tonight is no exception as we get MandrewsMcFly! The initial spot that sees Banks doing the Biff-style knocking on the top of the head is legitimately laugh out loud worthy. Andrews manages to trip up Banks and hits several armdrags before landing a wheelbarrow bulldog. The first time Andrews heads to the top, Travis is wily enough to send the ref into the ropes, crotching Andrews and giving Banks control of the match.

Banks is pretty brutal and no-nonsense, using chops, stomps and several chokes, including one with his jacket. When Andrews threatens a comeback, Banks lands a flapjack, a PK-style kick and a big knee-drop to the forehead. However, Banks makes the mistake of calling Andrews a chicken, and eats a pop up dropkick to the face and an over the top rope cannonball plancha at ringside. Upon returning to the ring, Andrews goes for his Northen lights suplex roll through into flip, but Banks gets a roll-up for a two count. Shortly afterwards, Andrews makes up for this by flipping into the ring, straight into a standing moonsault for 2. A top rope rana is threatened, only for Banks to slip out of the back and pull Andrews’ legs – a vicious attack in the corner, a cannonball and a brainbuster gets Banks a two count.

As Andrews attempts to fight back, he is caught with a jumping clothesline, and Banks hits a pretty unique rack/airplane spin/whirly bird move, only to put his foot on the ropes and force the ref to stop the count. Banks is clearly annoyed and threatens to attack the ref, but the ref punches him instead! There is an odd reversal of a tombstone into a reverse DDT that gets Andrews a 2 count before the match heads backstage. The men reappear with Andrews getting hit by a pool cue whilst trapped in a bin. Just as it seems there might be a countout victory for Banks, the Back to the Future music hits and Andrews returns through the entrance, with Radclaw dressed as Doc Brown in toe! A dropkick on Banks and a shooting star press is enough for the three count. Loved the Back to the Future stuff, and Banks is an entertaining heel for sure.

ATTACK! Pro 24/7 Title – Lumberjack Match: Wild Boar [c] vs. ‘Pride of Wales’ Eddie Dennis

Eddie Dennis is playing the Terminator tonight, whilst Wild Boar is … himself. The venue looks a bit small for a lumberjack match with the required interactions we might expect, but following some initial feeling out, Wild Boar is dropped to ringside. No-one wants to touch him! Lykos has him look the wrong way and nails him with the metal tray, only for Wild Boar to drop him with a big forearm to the face.The first big offensive move sees Dennis catch Boar off of the second rope and hit a spinout uranage, but his momentum is stopped by Chris Brookes grabbing his leg at ringside. By the time Dennis has pulled him into the ring and Brookes has backed off and out of the ring, Wild Boar is able to land a modified suplex and a senton to Dennis’ back.

Boar tries to land a suplex on the bigger man, but after a struggle and several forearm blows, Dennis is able to life Boar and get a two count for his efforts. A battle over the top turnbuckle has Dennis dropped hard in a sunset flip sitoutpowerbomb, though this is also only good enough for a two. The men trade big blows and both go down when Dennis hits a jumping clothesline. A patented Dennis move, the crucificbuckle bomb, is avoided by Boar, who dumps Dennis in the corner with a german suplex and then lands a running senton. Dennis is able to fight back, hitting his own sitout death valleybomb for a two.

The men fight over the top turnbuckle again, this time ending up with Boar getting Yakuza kicked off of the top turnbuckle onto the lumberjacks at ringside. Dennis then joins them with a tentative dive of his own after Lykos and Brookes attack Boar at ringside. The ref threatens to go up again, but Dennis and Boar return to the ring before he can. We then have a run of no-selling moves, as Dennis lands a running Euro, a superkick, a backdrop driver and a lariat, whilst Boar blasts back in between with a spear and a German suplex of his own. As this title is 24/7, Super Santo Sr gets in the ring and reveals himself as Pete Dunne, dropping Boar with a pumphandle into an STO. The pin is broken up by Dennis, who is then able to land the crucifix buckle bomb on Dunne. A modified reverse suplex driver is enough for the Boar, leaving Dennis the new Attack Pro champion – only for Dunne to jump him, grab the belt and waffle him for the three count. Pete Dunne is the new champion, and is quickly heading backstage before anyone can steal it off of him.

A really fun show, let down a little by what I felt was a lacklustre main event. The crowd didn’t feel particularly into it, and there were a few too many ‘epic’ moments that were there just to try and be epic for the sake of it. However, I’m sold enough on the shenanigans of Attack Pro Wrestling that I will definitely be checking out future releases.


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