Hello, good afternoon, good evening and welcome once again to the most spectacular column you’ll read at the moment. I am your humble host for the next few hundred words, the excellence of elocution, Lord Gideon Grey. Once again, I am providing you ignorant individuals with a small glimpse into the ongoings of the British and US independent wrestling scene.
Moving on from my last topic of proper etiquette at a wrestling event (which I notice the UPW fans neglected to adhere to once again), I would like to take this time to talk to you about injuries. As I’m sure you are aware wrestling is not a sport for the weak of heart, and many of those involved work through injuries in order to compete and entertain. As with any physical sport the risk of injury is always present, and unfortunately sometimes strikes at the most inopportune time.
If you go to any wrestling school across the country (which of course, personal bias would lead me to mention the Revolution Pro Wrestling Training School in Portsmouth, my home away from home when I am not hiring specialists to come to the manor), you will be taught how to spread the impact of hitting the canvas over a wider surface area in an attempt to minimize the damage that your opponent deals to you. This is a major reason why wrestling matches nowadays last beyond the first time one competitor manages to catch the other with a bodyslam. This however, does not prevent injuries occurring.
A few years ago, the ever talented Marty Scurll was taken out of action for a while with a shoulder injury, and I myself broke my collar bone in multiple places during a training session. In fact, even one of the healthiest wrestlers I know, James Castle, recently was taken down by a chest infection that he fought through (no doubt caused in large part by the quite frankly ridiculous amount of hair spray he uses on his stupid, stupid hair).
I would like to focus however, on a recent injury that I sincerely hope is not as bad as it seems.
I am not naturally disposed to liking Americans. Their country seem to be made up of gun fetishists and loud, overweight, ugly, obnoxious, malodorous, jumped-up little twerps who would not know how to take tea politely if they were given a three-year course on the subject. On rare occasion, I do find myself being convinced otherwise by the actions and conversations of a few. Recently, I had the pleasure of having a short conversation with both Mr Trevor Lee and Mr Andrew Everett at an event (during which I won my match, naturally). If you don’t know who I’m talking about here, please, stop reading now, open up a new tab, purchase any show with them on and watch them wrestle. I’ll still be here when you’re back.
They’re quite good, aren’t they?
My interaction with Mr Everett and Mr Lee was quite limited due to the nature of an event, though they handled themselves with a dignity that is rare to see in their countrymen. Mr Everett in particular came across as enthusiastic, erudite and exceptionally talented. This is one of the reasons why it was saddening to see him injured at the event. Whilst he is still young, he has gone through ACL surgery in the past and during his match against the irritatingly talented Josh Bodom, it would appear that one wrong step caused his repaired ligament to be injured again.
Wisely or not, Mr Everret proved his character by continuing the match and eventually overcame even this to put away his opponent on the night (seriously, Josh Bodom is /irritatingly/ talented).
I am personally hoping that this injury is not as serious as it looks as though it may be, and that we will be seeing him back on these shores before too long, but just in case, I am now putting upon each of you the responsibility of sending him personal well-wishes (
@_AndrewEverett), and by buying some of his merchandise in case he does have to take the time off to recover. I feel unclean by being this complimentary about someone, so allow me to finish this article by reminding you the reader, the fan, that you are a form of being lower than pond scum.
I detest you.